We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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