She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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