Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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