u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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