mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
