i just google imaged poop.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
