Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
