I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
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my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
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All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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