I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
