never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
