Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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