I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
