Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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