Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
