Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
BRING THE BAGELS
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
