I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
