I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
