so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
