we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
