At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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