even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
