There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
