I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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