i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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