happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
