oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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