thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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