it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
