I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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