My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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