i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
