Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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