I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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