I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
