love makes seman taste better
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
