The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
