i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
