Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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