I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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