It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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