You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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