I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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