I need help removing her.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
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I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
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she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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