R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he puts the penis in happiness.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
