Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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