She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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