what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you had me at cake vodka
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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