Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
