My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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