she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
