just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
a search helicopter?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
