don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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