"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
