Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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