of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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